Understand that all that she did, the good and the bad, comprise the totality of this person. Because you were connected to the whole person, you got to experience the good side and the bad side as well.Sometimes she was wonderful and sometimes she was horrible. His bad side was hurtful, and in the end the bad outweighed the good. This again is a difficult step, in that when you have fond memories of someone or perhaps a painful breakup that you have a hard time making sense of, it’s very hard to not revisit these memories again and again.Yet let go you must if the partner you are clinging to does not meet your needs.If you are ever to be fulfilled in any relationship, you must let go completely of this past partner.Add to the list the activities the two of you did that made you feel satisfied. He moved into an apartment with two friends that were extremely bad influences. A few months later we ended up working things out and moving in together. But then came the beginning of the summer and things got horrible.
The times he was everything you needed are hard to let go of. You did everything possible to make her be the way you wanted 100 percent of the time. You used all of the tricks in the book you could come up with to evoke the behavior you wanted. You knew you deserved better than just some fraction of what you wanted. Perhaps he left the relationship and left you longing and wanting him back. You feel that somehow not getting the love you wanted was your fault. One of the things that keeps you hooked into that relationship is anger. The rest of the time, she acted hurtful towards you.
Since the bad side was a part of the package and could not be changed, the whole package has to be let go off. You go back to them for comfort or in hopes of understanding what happened. Mine that relationship for what you want in your current or future relationship.
Use the gift of the love, connection and good stuff in that relationship as an inspiration to find more of that kind of love in your future or current relationship.
Instead of looking back at what you had, look forward to having more of that in your future.
Think about, even list, all of the qualities that you loved about your ex. On the day that it was a year since we lost the baby, he was extremely intoxicated and under the influence. He was extremely upset at himself for doing this and took himself to rehab that same day.
Now you have a good idea of what you are looking for in your next partner or what you should put into your current relationship. Moving on to another relationship after such an experience is difficult. Saw her a couple weeks ago and she just brushed our time aside as it never happened. So, we were together 2 years and lived together for a year. He then began to due drugs again (his real parents were drug addicts and alcoholics). He went over to his friends out that recently got divorced.