You were addled with anxiety, plagued by concerns over your performance, and worried about the worthiness of your physique during lovemaking.
Even if the act achieved the idealized heights of a Hollywood screenplay -- she melted at your touch, you thundered like a stallion, you writhed in unison to volcanic climax -- you still harbor suspicions: You’re pretty much certain you’re not getting it as often as everyone else. We’re impeded on our path to greater sexual pleasure. “Great sex is in the eye of the beholder, or the be-hander,” says Patti Britton, a clinical sexologist and author of The Art of Sex Coaching. “If you get to know yourself and your partner, you’ll have a much more erotic and explosive sexual relationship,” says Joy Davidson, a New York-based psychologist and sexologist, and the author of Fearless Sex.
It’s a matter of physiology and personal preference.
But perfect-fitting penetration isn’t the only path to satisfying sex. Concentrate on kissing, cooing, caressing -- the full panoply of sexual pleasure giving.
Being a great lover means becoming a great lover to your particular partner, and that requires doing something very difficult: opening your mouth.” Great Sex Tip 1: Take Up Pillow Talk Right. Useful for kissing and other orally administered forms of arousal (none of which should be underestimated), it’s also a tool for communication. “A lot of men wind up thinking that their sex life is missing something, that other men are having wilder sex or more frequent sex,” Davidson says. They’re the extreme end of the scale.” Some of the other fictions that porn perpetuates are the idea that women are always primed and ready (“in the real world,” Davidson says, “people do say ‘no’”); that the same moves work on every partner; that satisfying sex always culminates in orgasm.
“They have a sense that the pleasure ship has sailed and left them behind.” According to Michael Castleman, a San Francisco-based sex expert and author of Great Sex: A Man’s Guide to the Secret Principles of Total-Body Sex, the average frequency of sex in committed long-term relationships is roughly once every 10 days. Populated as it is by flawlessly formed women and men with etched abs and equine endowments, adult entertainment makes many guys wonder: What am I doing wrong? “One of the most destructive myths of porn is that it convinces so many guys that they’re too small,” Castleman says. There are positives to porn -- it can, for example, inspire us to greater sexual exploration. Minimizing both helps maximize your enjoyment of your partner.
“It’s like watching a car chase in an action movie. “There are techniques ranging from eye-gazing to massage and synchronized breathing that help keep you in the moment,” Britton says. It doesn’t happen in the future, like worrying about how quickly you’re going to come.” Great Sex Tip 5: Focus Less on Size and More on Other Matters “I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t matter,” Davidson says.
“There are plenty of women for whom it absolutely does.
A whirlwind of BDSM, Sub/Dom relationships, spanking and lots of other weird and wonderful things have come to our attention.“A lot of women are very responsive to a man’s voice during lovemaking,” Davidson says. What sounds rote and dreary can actually be dreamy, says Michael Castleman, who recommends the strategy especially to couples in long-term relationships, who’ve passed the can’t-keep-their-hands-off-each-other phase.“If a man has verbal facility and can entice a woman through his voice, that can become a powerful part of his repertoire. “There’s this powerful mythology that says you should fall into each other’s arms spontaneously, with string music playing and the sun setting in the West, and if that doesn’t happen there’s something wrong with you,” Castleman says. Real life doesn’t work that way.” Rather than heightening the pressure to perform (“It’s now, or never!(Thank you, doctors.)Start out facing each other in the Yab-Yum position, which is you cross-legged and her sitting in your lap facing you, with our foreheads touching. var googletag = googletag