Dating a recovering alchoholic
Should she have cut it as soon as she felt that she was developing feelings for the guy? should she continue seeing the guy, enjoy dating him as much as she can while she can, and not worry about the outcome of the situation too much, without thinking about the future too much?
I don’t think any woman can find an absolute and unequivocal answer to this question, and I frankly don’t believe that such an answer exists, as it would heavily depend on that specific woman’s goals and needs at that specific point in her life.
Hours would vanish, and waking up in a stranger’s bed – or, once, a stranger’s dog’s bed – with mystery bruises and receipts for bars she had no recollection of visiting was the norm.
“My first blackout was when I got drunk at 11 and there were a handful more before college,” Hepola, now 40, says. Between my 20s and 35, when I gave up booze for good, I’d guess 100 in total. Maybe more.” An editor at the news website Salon, Hepola published her memoir, Blackout, this week.
Women who belong to this category will not be happy sticking around a guy, if they know in advance that it is not going anywhere and has no potential to turn into an actual partnership.
Only you know which category you belong to or which category you want to belong to, and once you determine which approach fits your life philosophy, you are likely to make the right choice for yourself given your unique situation, as well as what you need and want at that specific point in your life.
Certainly, commitment, family and children are the last thing on those women’s mind who felt “suffocated” in their prior relationship or marriage, went through a challenging divorce or a painful break-up, and who feel the urge to enjoy and celebrate their newly found freedom.
Ultimately, no one can objectively advise a woman whether she should date a younger man, as only she knows what her goals are, and only she feels her needs and desires are at that specific stage in her life considering the unique circumstances of her present emotional state and her dating past.
No woman is attracted to a guy who is a couch potato or who is unable to climb a set of stairs without being out of breath, especially if the woman herself is very active.There are some other compelling reasons for why older women are more attractive to younger guys.And of course, it’s not a secret that women in their thirties and forties have a much higher sex driver than the ones in their twenties.An older woman might have the greatest time of her life dating an energetic, exciting, attractive young man, but she is also likely to feel that she is wasting her time being with a younger guy and knowing that it is not going to turn into a long-term relationship, instead of pursuing a relationship with a man with whom she could establish a family and have children in the nearest future as the biology would dictate to a woman who is aware that her biological clock is ticking.But then again – not every woman wants family and children.
Staggering into her Brooklyn apartment at 2am one night eight years ago, Sarah Hepola threw a pan of pasta on the hob, turned up the heat, flopped on to her sofa and passed out.