Dating a codependent
The general Narcissistic cycle goes something like this – Narcissist finds new meat, lavishes her with attention and moves really fast – he keeps former girlfriends on ice by feeding them hope and nuggets of attention and affection – the new meat loses her shine and she gets relegated to the harem – he may bounce back to an old harem member in the interim while he looks for someone new and on and on it goes.The women he meets could be beautiful, have a great job, good friends and money in the bank. It’s never about her and it will always turn out the same way.These people, also called the Narcissistic harem, mainly consist of ex-girlfriends, potential girlfriends and women who wish to be his girlfriend.The harem can also be comprised of co-workers, family and friends, basically anyone, who the Narcissist deems a good audience for his wit and who will willingly boost up his self-esteem and sense of superiority, by putting him up on a pedestal – anybody, he can turn to for attention, sex, money, or anything he may need. The Harem A couple of years ago I briefly dated, ‘guy with a harem.’ Guy with a harem explained to me that most of his friends were women.
She has a degree in Psychology and is the founder of esteemology.com, a website dedicated to educating and healing survivors of abusive relationships.
Let’s be honest, a jealous woman can be incredibly devious and catty and guy with a harem, needing to be constantly reassured, would run to these ‘friends,’ and since they wanted me out of the picture their advice was always unflattering and self-serving. I had three or four of them send me friend requests on Facebook, looking to snoop into my life, hoping to dig up some kind of dirt.
My appearance, my behavior was constantly under scrutiny by the harem and I had to eventually hit the pavement, because it felt like I was dating him and every other woman he had ever been involved with.
At worst it shows a user mentality and someone that likes to keep his options open.
I know we all want to be the winner, where all other women have failed, but the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior.